I promise; I’m still here.
Just doing some spring cleaning of the soul, and it has slowed progress. And changed a few things.
When the idea for this blog first came about, I was angry. I would never have characterized myself as such, but it is true. For personal reasons that if the Lord so leads I will share at some point, as well as things happening in my country and the world, anger seeped into my heart and took root. Outrage was the order of the day. Not a good place from which to encourage.
In the intervening months, I have done a lot of soul searching. As I was spring cleaning my closets, the Lord was spring cleaning my soul and revealing some not so nice things. They had to be expelled before I could move forward.
So I come to this mile marker and I see the road bending in a slightly different direction. My first thought was that my focus would be women, and the myriad ways we are given dangerous messages about ourselves from both the world and the church. Then another subject that hits close to home for me began to creep into my mind, that of race and ethnicity. Then the whole married/single dilemma cast a shadow on my thoughts, leading me in that direction. I found myself unable to focus.
It seemed that I was asking questions that I either was not finding answers for, or I was finding answers and didn’t like them.
And then I happened upon Psalm 131 and these words leaped off the page: O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. (vv. 1-2)
After marinating in this short psalm, the following thoughts occurred to me: I have been demanding answers to questions God has never promised He would answer. I need His help to no longer concern myself with that which He has chosen not to reveal, those things that are beyond me, that are infinite and therefore can never be grasped by my finite mind. I will always seek, I will always wonder…that is part of what makes me who I am. But I must trust the answers He gives, that they are enough. That He knows better than I.
So…my initial purpose in writing has been completely transformed. The theme is the same: Encourage to wholeness. We are broken; our world is broken. And Jesus came to put things back together again.
We are all broken in any number of ways; we all need to be restored to wholeness. And so I want this space to be about that. About the journey to wholeness. I’m still on the road of discovery in terms of where this will lead me. I will likely touch on all the subjects I mentioned above and more. Wholeness entails the whole person, no stone un-turned. It is a process that lasts a lifetime, and its chief end is to conform us to the image of the One we worship…
More to come; until then, grace and peace…